Over the years, I’ve been lucky enough to form friendships through business, relationships that started as connections, collaborators or clients and evolved into something more meaningful. And when I look around at the people I care about, I genuinely want them to succeed. Their wins feel like my wins.
Because here’s the truth, you are the sum of the people you surround yourself with. So why wouldn’t I want those around me to absolutely smash it?
But not everyone operates that way.
In business, we’re sometimes met with competition that crosses a line, or a strange silence when someone shares good news. That nod that’s more of a twitch than a cheer. It’s uncomfortable to say out loud, but we’ve all seen it, the jealousy, the bitterness, the reluctance to support others’ success. And it’s worth asking some tough questions:
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Are you genuinely happy when others succeed?
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Do you support your peers, or quietly resent their momentum? Perhaps because your progress is slower…
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What are you doing to help your friends in business?
When Success Triggers Insecurity
I’ve been reading about this recently to see what I can do to better support those around me. I wondered if I was wired differently. I don’t want others to fail. I want them to succeed. My reading was triggered by a friend who sometimes hampers their own progress and gets in their own way… I wondered whether, how I acted impacted them and how I could better relate/support. I want to make sure I add value and not hold them back. Me saying “come on, just do it…” isn’t always helpful so I started to ‘Google’…
I then went down a rabbit hole and starting looking at why others may take pleasure from seeing others fail.
From my reading, I understood that the psychology behind why some people take pleasure in the downfall of others is complex. I recently came across an article on Medium that summed it up perfectly. It highlighted five key reasons for this kind of behaviour in others:
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Insecurity and Projection – Even the successful can be insecure. Putting others down is a way to prop themselves up.
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Comparison and Competition – (THIS ONE WAS KEY – because so many of us compare ourselves to others…) If success is a scoreboard, someone else’s win can feel like a loss.
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Sadistic Satisfaction – Known as Schadenfreude, this is the bizarre pleasure some get from seeing others fail.
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Social Dynamics – People often play to the group they want to impress, even if it means tearing others down.
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Lack of Empathy – Without empathy, it’s easy to disregard someone else’s pain.
When you’re on the receiving end of this, it can sting. Social rejection in a business context is often subtle, but it hurts all the same. A “friend” going quiet when you post a win. A contact suddenly acting distant when your business gets traction. It can be disheartening.
But here’s the thing… it doesn’t have to be this way.
Positivity is a Choice. So is Support.
Throughout my career, I’ve done a lot for friends in business. Not for clout, not for credit, but because it felt right. I’ve worked on projects for free. Launched initiatives purely to benefit others. Run events that offered a platform to those who needed one. I’ve made introductions, shared posts, clapped from the sidelines and shouted people’s names from the rooftops.
And I’ll keep doing it, because when one of us wins, we all win.
If you’ve got a network of people you respect, admire, and enjoy being around, here’s the challenge: Be their champion. Show up for them. Support their growth like you’d want someone to support yours.
I then started to think about how we could all do this and it came down to seven things. Now… I’m not perfect at these YET, but I am trying to be…
My Top Seven Tips for Championing Others in Business
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Share Their Posts
Visibility matters. Sharing someone’s content is a simple but powerful way to amplify their voice. Especially when algorithms love interaction. -
Celebrate Their Wins
Publicly congratulate them. Say “well done.” Comment with enthusiasm. Make it known that you’re rooting for them. Also, go out of your way to do this… -
Check In
Business can be lonely. A message that says “How are things going?” can mean the world. -
Make Introductions
If you know someone who could use their services or collaborate with them, make the connection. It litterally takes two minutes. Yesterday, I made 5 connections for someone who came to me from my website. That’s 5 people who could indirectly benefit at the same time as the person who I met with. -
Pay Them What They’re Worth
Don’t expect “mates rates.” Respect their craft and pay properly. If you really value them, support them financially too. This is a tricky one and perhaps contentious but as a minimum, a like-for-like value add should be offered. -
Give Credit
If someone helped you out, say so. Recognition is underrated and under-delivered in this world. This may be one of the 6-touches people need to build trust. -
Be Honest (Even When It’s Hard)
True friendship in business means you’re willing to have tough conversations. If someone’s going off-course or needs a nudge, tell them. Kindly. Honestly. Respectfully. I’m working on this as I find difficult conversations tough!!
Business is also tough enough without side-eyes, silent envy and hidden agendas. Be the person who champions others. Celebrate their milestones. Support their efforts. And if you’re not doing that, ask yourself why.
Because success isn’t a limited resource. Someone else winning doesn’t mean you’re losing. If anything, when your circle thrives, you rise too.
Cheers to those who clap when others win. I see you, I rate you, and I want more of us out there.
If you want to work with someone who believes in building people up, not tearing them down, I’d love to chat. Drop me a message at tom@lincolnshiremarketing.co.uk or visit www.tomstansfield.co.uk to connect. Or, let’s connect on LinkedIn.
Cheers,
Tom Stansfield
